Maybe you just left a really unhealthy relationship, feel like a shell of a person and reeling on how to adjust to life and be YOURSELF again.
Maybe the one you thought was the ONE, without warning walked out on you (for someone else).
Maybe this isn’t your first bad breakup and if you’re really honest with yourself, you have a pattern of drawing in unavailable or abusive partners.
Perhaps your biological clock is ticking and you’re realizing you can’t afford to keep making these same mistakes in your love life over and over again.
I hear you! And whether you realize it or not, you’re actually in a PRIME POSITION for some deep healing so you can realize your self-worth and live an incredibly abundant life (and attract healthy love).
Navigating the emotional and psychological aftermath of leaving a toxic relationship is no cakewalk. So below are 20 ways to ease stress and take care of yourself so you can heal your heart and move forward.
20 Ways to Ease Stress
1. Hit the gym! Commit to 3-5 sweat sessions per week. If you need motivation to get you there, consider joining a group fitness class like Crossfit or Orange Theory Fitness.
2. Eat the rainbow. Indulging in Ben & Jerry’s is definitely OK – once in a while, but for healing, try to fill your plate with plenty of fresh veggies, fruits and lean protein.
3. Get a pedicure – even if you’re a guy!
4. Avoid alcohol – or limit yourself to 1-2 per week. It can be easy to turn to booze to help soften the blow of sadness or take your mind off how you’re going to pull your life together. Do you future self a favor and go dry – or limit yourself. Inspiration, feeling all your feels in a healthy way and strokes of insight come much easier when your brain is clear and rested.
5. Get 8 hours of sleep every night.
6. Try Essential Oils to support moods and emotions. My fave’s are:
– Lavender – for relaxation
– Cedarwood – relaxation
– Patchouli – emotional support
– Ylang, Ylang – relaxation
7. Meditate! Start with 5 minutes in the morning and 5 minutes before bed. I love the Calm app.
Not sure where to start? Check out this powerful, 5 minute meditation to help ease anxiety and self doubt.
8. Spend at least 20 minutes outside every day. Try taking a morning or early evening walk.
9. Read or listen to inspirational self-help books (or podcasts). One of my fave’s for getting through tough time is The Places That Scare You by Pema Chodron.
10. Reconnect with an old friend(s)! Chances are you may have let some friendships slide while being consumed in the roller coaster reality of an unhealthy relationship.
11. Join a Meetup Group! Or start one! There are so many people longing for connection who’ve experienced the same heartache as you.
12. Take a trip! Even better, try solo! Anything from a short day-trip to a neighboring town to that week long trip to Paris you’ve been dreaming about. Now’s the time!
13. Redecorate your bedroom. Or your entire living room.
14. Relocate! This is a BIG one, and can definitely bring up additional stress. But if you’re situation warrants it due to physical or emotional safety reasons, by all means go for it.
15. Try some gentle yoga, acro yoga or dance classes to move your body in a healing way and meet new people!
16. Volunteer at an animal shelter, DV shelter or other non-profit of your choice.
17. Treat yourself to coffee or tea and a delicious sweet treat at one your favorite coffee shops and people watch (without your phone).
18. Begin a daily gratitude practice. In the morning or evening (before bed), write down 3 things you’re grateful for. Better: make them different every time!
19. Make a vision board of your dream life! Where do you want to live? Who’s your soul mate? Your dream home? How much money do you want to make? Find captivating photos that pull you emotionally and hang them in clear view.
20. Re organize your closets, drawers and donate to the GoodWill. Have you seen that show Tidying Up with Marie Kondo on Netflix, yet? Watch it! The act of throwing away what no longer serves you and only keeping things that “spark joy” goes well beyond your closet.
Feel Your Feelings
All of the above are intended as ways to get your life back on track after being sideswiped by the emotional devastation of a bad breakup. However staying overly “busy” can be used as a coping tool to avoid feeling your sadness,anger, loss and abandonment. When you feel down or suddenly find yourself welling up with tears while in line at Target, go easy on yourself and allow yourself a few moments to breathe deeply and feel all those feelings. I promise you they’ll pass and you’ll feel lighter afterwards.
Do you have any self-care tips you do to ease stress after a breakup (or other tough time?) Drop a line and tell me about it!