He honestly is for me. It’s wacky, but we think the same things at the same time. All the time. If it weren’t for his very thoughtful first message, I would have deleted him. (As I had with every other guy with how his profile was, when it came to his kids.) But I gotta say, I’m so happy I took a chance, or I wouldn’t be where I am today!
I matched with Arturo at the end of October. I soon realized that he lived in Texas (I live in Wisconsin). I decided to just have fun and talk with him (ya know, put myself out there)! We had a couple video chats and they were a blast!
I did get in my head about the distance and made up stories about what this could mean. I kept talking with other guys that lived locally, as I kept exploring. I was afraid of committing my time and energy to one guy too quickly. That was my old pattern, and I wasn’t about to do that again!
I found myself getting scared of developing more feelings (or actually, allowing and honoring them). I let my brain do the deciding, rather than leading with my heart.
I still had some lessons to be learned in trusting myself (and my gut).
It all got to be too much (on top of the stress of working in healthcare and COVID).
Maybe this just wasn’t the right time for me…again. I took a little break and put my profile as “unavailable.” I felt like I was “getting warmer” when it comes to being in a good place and attracting the right guy…but I just felt a bit lost for a moment.
I took on more self care that week- journaling, meditation, crying it out.
I logged back into the app on Thanksgiving. He had sent me the sweetest message, saying he missed talking to me and he left his phone number in hopes I would see it and contact him. I can’t believe that I nearly shut down and closed the door! It still makes me sad that I almost missed out, but I’m grateful for his vulnerability.
It has helped me to show mine more than ever. Brené Brown would be proud.
I texted him that night and our connection kept building from there. FaceTime, texts and pics, as we learned about each other. Despite being over 1000 miles away, I’ve never felt more close to someone. I would be in my pjs with wet hair and no makeup, and we would have these incredibly authentic video chats. His job asked him to come last minute for a project (right around Christmas) so I agreed to meet him sooner than we had planned. I surrendered and just leaned into it! His flight was rerouted and I drove to pick him up at an airport over an hour away. I felt excited, confident and curious (!!), as opposed to the worried and anxious Amber I’m skilled at being. When we embraced outside in the cold winter air, I’ve never felt so warm. It was the hug I’ve been waiting for my entire life.
This feels a little scary putting this out there. However, it feels wrong to not share. I hope that it can provide just that: Hope. I feel the shifts in my mindset, the resulting changes in my actions, and my walls coming down. It’s all a journey.
Thank you, Bethany, for everything! Without you, I wouldn’t be who I am or where I am today. I truly believe that I have found that healing type of love.
I just wanted to say Thank You! I got a higher paying job and met hot, fun guy thanks to all the positive thinking you taught me!
Forever grateful for this program! Best thing to date that I have ever done for myself. Highly recommend it. ❤️❤️❤️
Lifechanging. I never realized how much shame I was carrying inside. Her ability to guide you through your emotions is umatched.
I believe Angels come into our path for specific reasons. I wanted to say Thank You for being one of those angels. I have been letting things go this Christmas and just going with the flow. Also, savoring each and every moment. I am just much more grounded, patient and confident in myself. I know there will be bumps in the road, but I am ready to fight and stick my boundaries.